Dealing with Difficult people

[QUOTE=The Scales;33227]If they cause you mental troubles - good advice from svatmarama i think.

If they cause you no mental troubles - who cares?[/QUOTE]

Most of people do not cause any mental troubles for me, BUT they consume my time! Which is a stealing…

[QUOTE=CityMonk;33395]but they consume my time! Which is a stealing…[/QUOTE]

lol. Call the cops.

[QUOTE=CityMonk;33395]Most of people do not cause any mental troubles for me, BUT they consume my time! Which is a stealing…[/QUOTE]

HAHAHA… I love this and will steal the quote from you :slight_smile:

Also, I am interested in this thread because I am in a similar situation at work. I am in college right now and work at a sports bar as a bartender. The staff is about 95% female except for the managers which are all male. All day at work I overhear girls gossiping about eachother and talking negativly about work. Even behind the bar, certain bartenders I work with complain about work or other co-workers infront of me and infront of customers in a nasty tone. It really drives me up the wall. I try to stay away from all of this cattiness, but it is like some of these people i work so closely with are just so bitter and negative that their negative vibes brush off on me and end up putting me in a crappy mood.

I just don’t know what to do!

[QUOTE=CityMonk;33395]Most of people do not cause any mental troubles for me, BUT they consume my time! Which is a stealing…[/QUOTE]

lol
:cool:

Yes. but do you let them?

[QUOTE=The Scales;33666]lol
:cool:

Yes. but do you let them?[/QUOTE]

Thats a dilemma…

[QUOTE=Pear Martini;33663]HAHAHA… I love this and will steal the quote from you :slight_smile:

[/QUOTE]

This is not my quote.:slight_smile: Asteya is Non-stealing, Not taking that which is not given. I read it in the Iyengar book. People who take mote time than allowed for conversation/interview/whatever are basically steal…

[QUOTE=YogiAdam;33399]lol. Call the cops.[/QUOTE]

is that the common practice in AustraliA? :slight_smile:

We all have heard stories of saints taking up vows of silence, going off to forests and solitude for meditation etc. Although one or may not agree with these ideas one can at least understand the urge to disconnect from people who disrupt all of the poise and harmony of your mind. Its not unnatural to avoid such people, in fact in some cases it might be ‘just what the doctor ordered’ to save oneself.
When your house catches fire we run out of it, even though its our own house.
I believe some people cannot change no matter how much you try. Its because they have no inner insight into their own behaviour or they lack honest and sincerity towards changing themselves. My suggestion is mentally disconnect from a person who constantly bad-mouths. Talk less with him and do just the bare minimum social interaction, just be polite.

[QUOTE=lostontheway;34101]We all have heard stories of saints taking up vows of silence, going off to forests and solitude for meditation etc. Although one or may not agree with these ideas one can at least understand the urge to disconnect from people who disrupt all of the poise and harmony of your mind. Its not unnatural to avoid such people, in fact in some cases it might be ‘just what the doctor ordered’ to save oneself.
When your house catches fire we run out of it, even though its our own house.
I believe some people cannot change no matter how much you try. Its because they have no inner insight into their own behaviour or they lack honest and sincerity towards changing themselves. My suggestion is mentally disconnect from a person who constantly bad-mouths. Talk less with him and do just the bare minimum social interaction, just be polite.[/QUOTE]

Good one. Agree word for word. Some people just have to be frogs for awhile. Not much you can do . . .

[QUOTE=lostontheway;34101]
When your house catches fire we run out of it, even though its our own house.
[/QUOTE]
lol it should have been ‘when our house’ instead of ‘your house’. Sorry for that, but that was a funny mistype :-p

[QUOTE=CityMonk;34075]is that the common practice in AustraliA? :)[/QUOTE]

Naaa… There’s no reason to call the cops lol

My verdict is the following:

I will tell person to leave and never get on my way if one is:

  • constantly lying
  • chronically gossiping
  • badwording with no reason
  • jealous to others people happiness
  • or just is a bad person.

[QUOTE=CityMonk;34256]My verdict is the following:

I will tell person to leave and never get on my way if one is:

  • constantly lying
  • chronically gossiping
  • badwording with no reason
  • jealous to others people happiness
  • or just is a bad person.[/QUOTE]

So your average person basically lol

[QUOTE=YogiAdam;34259]So your average person basically lol[/QUOTE]

Sounds like everyone I work with and almost everyone I got to school with

Hi CityMonk!

You’re not alone…we all come across people who annoy us. As you clear up your own issues and align yourself with the best of who you are, the less you’ll come across people like that. Think of them as your mirror…and I know that’s sometimes difficult to hear.

There are people who you run across whom you don’t know who irritate you, but there are also friends whom you CHOOSE to constantly be around…these are the people you have more control over, in terms of how much contact you have with them.

You’ll find that as you change and learn more about who you really are, some of the people you hang out with aren’t resonating on the same frequency as you anymore. Friends will drift out of your life, and new ones will appear. That’s natural. Be unattached about that. For the ones who drag you down and are now exiting your life, wish them well, then be open to meeting people who enrich your life.

I hope this helps! Now, go find some people who bring bliss to your life…

Laural Strang

[QUOTE=CityMonk;31865]How do you deal with people who annoy you?

I try to train myself to[U] be patient and accept them[/U] as they are.

Sometimes I do fine and I feel good about managing my impatience or anger. But sometimes I’m thinking about abandoning the relationships, since the person is impossible to handle.

I do not know should I keep practicing my patience and acceptance or this is the wrong way to practice it.

What do you think?:confused:[/QUOTE]

A man I have known for 37 years, and a very close friend of mine, has been a constant source of irritation to me during most of this time. The reason we remain friends is one of those things that cannot really be explained in point form. But, his view of the world and how it operated seemed so out-of-this-world to me that it pissed me off. This was not just that our views differed. My reaction to his view was shared by the majority of the world and he could not keep a job, interact socially, etc., although he is incredibly intelligent and rivals George Clooney in good looks (sex was never a problem for him). In fact, he is embarassed by his beauty and refuses to accept it as a gift (another source of irritation).

To add fuel to my fiery irritation, earlier this year I intercepted a suicide note and, with the help of the authorities, prevented this from happening. He was committed for several weeks and remains under my guardianship. He is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome - a form of high-functioning autisism. This explains a lot! He really DID see the world differently, and got to a point where he was so frustrated at the ‘the world’ not reacting correctly to his output that he decided to just check out.

My point is: I don’t think people generally want to be irritating or bothersome. Most of the time when they show up unannouced, call to give unwarranted advice, etc., people are just trying to share of themselves in some way, but are not communicating with me in a meaningful way. If I can understand what they are trying to say, I may find a way to lessen the irritation.

[QUOTE=CityMonk;33222]
Do we need to put up with some people and practice our patience or we need to stay away from them ( as Swatmarama advised) [/QUOTE]

No we need to boot them in the head :smiley: just kidding

Spend time with people who want to help you spend it, not with those that want to help you waste it.

if we make clear lines in the sand so to speak as to who and what we will or wont tolerate we may close ourselves off, which I dont believe is a good thing. Many times I try to think ahead of time what I will or wont do and then in the moment of it happening it is completely different and my past projections were a waste of time.

[QUOTE=Pear Martini;34365]Sounds like everyone I work with and almost everyone I got to school with[/QUOTE]

But your schoolmates do not come to your house without invitation any time:))

Only westerners equate martyrdom with sainthood!