Blessings CityMonk,
What an awesome thread you’ve created.
There are so many different angles to consider when meditating on your question.
One of the first things that come to mind is to remember being patient with yourself. As you said, “sometimes I do fine and I feel good about managing my impatience or anger,” and sometimes you don’t. Me too. Being patient with yourself is a great way to relieve some of the tension that arises from not being spiritual enough or in complete control of yourself.
The second thing that comes to mind is the possibility of working with other practices in the situation. For example, asserting yourself in a positive way. If someone came and slapped me on the face every day, patience would not be my practice – maybe Tai Chi or Kung Fu would be:D
I agree with many of the others who encourage you to continue practicing, for patience is not had in a vacuum, but in the hustle and bustle of life.
Two classical stories that bring this out are Atisha and his Bengali servant-boy and Patrul Rinpoche’s visit to a yogi’s cave.
As to what I do under those circumstances, I am with InnerAthlete: be honest.
Not only with yourself but with the person visiting.
Is this person’s presence uplifting,
helpful,
encouraging,
supportive,
and strengthening,
or do you find yourself constantly on edge,
agitated,
deflated,
and so forth.
It is your life,
you have the right to choose what you want.
While this is not always easy,
in the end,
it is within your power -
and there is nothing wrong with that.
Recently I was communing with a close friend and she just kept going on about her problems and the people in her life. Not only did I tell her that I do not negatively talk about other people, but that I wished to connect with the moment in a joyful way and what she was doing was not inviting that.
Instead of leaving, which I assumed she would do, she stayed and shifted her energy. Our conversation changed both of our lives for the better.
Having said all that,
I do agree that this [I]might [/I]be a good opportunity for practicing patience,
but it does not mean you have to wallow in someone else’s negativity or be crapped on.
My suggestion,
be true with yourself and stick to what you want.
If that means not having negativity in your life,
then set the terms.
If the person comes over,
don’t follow them into darkness.
Tell them strait out this is your house
your time
your place,
if they wish to abide within your space then they must respect you:
otherwise,
show them the door.
The patience practice comes into play not with just sitting there being dumped on, but being true with yourself and sticking to what you want without getting caught up and angry. Just because we are practicing patience does not mean we have to accept negativity in our lives.
Be Blessed