So this dude is hopeless and on a lower level than his yoga instructor? Hmmm. So, what level are yoga instructors on?
So this dude is hopeless and on a lower level than his yoga instructor? Hmmm. So, what level are yoga instructors on?
Charon, to whom is your question directed? I’m not sure who’s post got this response out of you.
JSK. But any yoga instructor who feels they are on a higher level than their clients can answer.
Lets just say, I would advise you be very carefull, not because of any rules or for the reasons people might think. Im talking from experience here! Please focus on the yoga, and continue to develop a friendship, but be very very careful. its highly possible you may not be used to woman that are open and friendly in the way she might well be. And she might not have any clue about the fact you feel this way. I am happy to discuss in personal messages in more detail.
Do what ever you need too, but remember your in a vulnerable state and not being objective. I would suggest not doing anything for a year, and just go to class, be freindly, and see what bits of information she lets slip that might be useful in knowing how she feels, and if she is married or anything like that.
Its a tough position to be in. Good luck.
[QUOTE=Charon;29738]JSK. But any yoga instructor who feels they are on a higher level than their clients can answer.[/QUOTE]
I used the word hopeless romantic. I was trying to give advice without giving advice and it came out wrong.
I’m a sucker for a love story. There have been many times when I’ve thrown caution to the wind and acted without fear of the reprecussions because of love.
I dunno what levels you are talking about.
i like your [I]‘There have been many times when I’ve thrown caution to the wind and acted without fear of the reprecussions because of love.[/I]’ cos if u love someone just becos they r single or whatever then it is conditional love.
but of course throwing caution to the wind doesnt usually operate long or smoothly in real life. if one is content just to love / admire without the going out for coffee thingy and let nature takes its course it may be less agonising. 
I would tend to agree with your perspective. But being content to love/admire without it being agonising is a practice in itself.
Since the AceUH admits he is a young guy and that he’s falling head over heels for one of his instructors and describes her as an enchanting woman and is grateful for her guidance and he wants to ask her out, then I can imagine it’s already agonising.
One of My practices is to refrain from giving too much advice.
If I suggested something outside the bounds of my practice, I would likely say.
She’s new, you’re likely new to yoga, all of these new thoughts and dynamics are exciting, and they are being idealized as spiritual teaching and these teachings are coming from an attractive woman of authority. Chances are, you will meet a student or instructor in the future who you feel the same way about. When men are young, we have to deal with testosterone. When young men are fit, in shape and healthy, testosterone can be a driving force in their life and influence the choices they make.
Women who have a long time history of yoga practice can be very attractive. Healthy, vital, strong, confident. Those are a few words I would use. I think many people have been in a yoga class where the amount of beauty to behold can be almost overwhelming. I will admit that I have done more than one or two classes with my eyes closed.
My advice is to let your attraction run it’s course. Remind yourself that your instructor is no different than you are. You are both people with mortal lives and social obligations. When you are in the presence of your instructor (or any beautiful woman for that matter), bask in her feminine qualities and let her beauty penetrate every cell of your being as if it were the wind from the ocean on a warm sunny day blowing over your skin for the first time. You can enjoy every aspect of a woman’s existence without it becoming physically or emotionally intimate.
If you want to take this to the physical/intimate level, I would highly reccomend you find another studio first, then ask her out on a date. Because once you cross that student/teacher boundarie, things may get a little awkward. If you ask her and she says no, it could be awkward for you (or her) to continue her classes if you feel rejected. If she says yes, and you decide to start dating, it could be awkward trying to teach her date/bf in a student/teacher setting. Plus it could be a turn off to her other students.
If you deem it’s worth leaving a class/instructor/studio, by all means, go for it.
If not, keep your attraction under wraps for the sake of everyone involved.
wow what an eloquent reply 
. would you care to comment/advice if the gender is reverse in the same situation? :oops:
Ace,
This is women who don’t like men trying to mess with your head. Did you notice how “not giving much advice” can turn to several paragraphs. Then at the end you get the ultimatum. JSK thinks she/he is your mom. I guess you have to listen - ha ha!
Ace - do what you want. Yoga is easy to learn. And within a couple of weeks, you can be certified and open your own studio. Then you will find out how true yogis operate. All capitalism and spirit-less! Then you can look down on your students, slander them, and then feel good about how god like you are.
Welcome to yoga!
[QUOTE=tessiesasha;29760]wow what an eloquent reply . would you care to comment/advice if the gender is reverse in the same situation? :oops:[/QUOTE]
I have a feeling the situation would be different if the genders were reversed.
Charon, I’m sorry but I don’t understand you at all, I think JSK gave a sound answer to the question, as well as DoestheDog?. They both gave good advice and good perspective on the whole situation. I usually lurk, but I couldn’t help but wonder what you’re talking about in all your posts.
As for AceUh, if you really feel strong about your feelings, I think asking for coffee is friendly and won’t scare anyone, see what happens! 
Im just saying men are targets when they join a yoga studio of women instructors. I guess extreme vanity has a massive evil streak. With many years of practicing yoga I can see straight through the veil of spiritual emptiness and straight to the heart of hate. I guess I have become more aware of the vapid spiritual aspect of yoga that serves the selfish and pathetic ego.
I wonder if Ace’s yoga instructor put hers plastic surgeon receipts next to her yoga certifications on the wall. Wouldn’t that be the spiritual thing to do so Ace could get a good idea on how much her upkeep will cost? It could end up being a real expensive cup of coffee. I just think the dude should be aware.
Be true to yourself!
Care to elaborate? What are men targets of?
[QUOTE=JSK;29766]I have a feeling the situation would be different if the genders were reversed.[/QUOTE]
Though this post is a few months old, I just want to add that JSK’s advice works for any gender dynamic. It’s common for women to fall for attractive male instructors, and it can be a challenge to keep the mind focused when an attractive man puts his hands on me in a dimly lit room. And I am talking about adjustments.
My instructor is falling for me… gradually. What shall i do?
Fall head over heels for her both literally & metaphorically?Team up & do partner yoga (or even tantra yoga if she’ll have you & you’re advanced enough).? Ask her out with a view to gaining more than just a coffee sometime later? Beg for adjustments constantly particularly in down-dog? Or option 9- continue to enjoy,cherish and appreciate the privileged time spent being able to practicce with them, in their midst ,whilst having that special soul connection without spoiling anything? There is’nt necessarily a right or wrong answer here btw.Which door would you open?Ha
Its a tough position to be in. Good luck.
Easy to fall for an instructor. I’ve done it myself, & more than one.If you’re weak & vulnerable it does’nt help. As IA says from the start there is an inherent power mis-match from the start- just like doctors and their patients, psychologists and their patients, political figures, the Ayatolloah WBush and folk under them and so on.
If you teach from a pure heart you’re in a better position to discern when that mismatch might be occuring but it is easy to fool yourself. I think if you’re a teacher you’re going to have a lot of students making advances on you.I’m not a pteacher so i can’t speak from experience. That said i think if you are really attractive folk tend to swoon around you anyway and opportunity tends to present itself much more.People like and are attracted to attractive people.
When i say i’ve fallen for two. One was more of a soul connection and the other was probably more a curious mixture of admiring their physical beauty, lust and mild infatuation which does pass after a while , think of like a lost puppy… lol, but then i felt a bit weak & vulerable and your faculties are easily clouded.
I’ll relate you a story i read picked up while leafing through a copy of ‘OmYoga’ as one does of course or some other coffeee table yoga mag thing.
There was this guy, male instructor let’s call him Kevin say…
One day Kevin is approached by the Head of the Studio Lyndsey.
We’ve had a complaint the Head says about your attire , i.e your dress sense/ code, the way you dress.
Kevin think of the 4 copies of humble looking but deliberately dull ‘padme om’ shorts or whateveer he wears, the faceless T etc. After all he is’nt going out his way trying to look good- no competittion etc.And wonders what he has done wrong or what on earth she is talking about.She[I] is [/I]more experienced teaching than he.
Eventually Lyndsey says ‘For crying out loud, it’s your Meat & Two Veg’
Kevin is not sure how to feel or view this… He did feel mildly angry at one point. After some thought he decides he is changing nothing and concludes if they/ his students are’nt able to focus on the yoga then he can’t be doing his job well.
If you’ve got any stories or juice to share then please do. You could turn this thread into an Agony Aunt /uncle type column.
I have’nt been to classes certainly reguarly in a few years but i know that on the odd occassion when i’ve came into sidhasaana or semi lotus position or an other meditative-type seat after some viinyasa i’ve kind of surrepitiously & lightly lifted the “crown jewels” ,as i’ve heard some women call them, upwards and out the way in order to feel more free without squashing them with the heel or leg say.It felt kind of natural although obviously not in another context, like sitting in a subway for instance. .Although it did’nt seem that appropriate to get that embarassed about it too much at the time and i did’nt really.I know that folk shoudl be focusing on what they’re doing , not on what another person is doing.Also i guess if you do are feeling relaxed you are less inclined to feel as self-conscious.
Also i’ve had adjustments from female instructors, often the most delicate of ones almost like cues but i would’nt call them slightly erotic necessarily.Helpful & supportive,caring yes.
I have had somewhat of a crush on one of my yoga teachers, but thankfully it’s starting to go away.
Knowing that her husband is a martial artist and an expert with the broadsword has helped a lot, and I am determined not to lose my head over her.
yeah it’s easy to get head over heels with instuctors especially if they have a lovely voice, are eloquent and charismatic or even eccentric (otherwise endearing), know their stuff well, in anatomy and yoga related matters.
most likely then not you are not the only one who feels this way. they may even have sort of a groupie hanging around them. will you be one too? or observe yourself observing others?
in the event if the two of you do hook up what would your feelings be seeing her/him adjusting other students in class? how would that affect your practice in the long run?