People do not fear grey hair, they fear what it represents, old age.
Rightfully so, as a less worthy life results in a aged body expressing the defeciencies of the given soul.
Old age has a dignity, if the life was worthy, and only then it is not shameful. A wrinkled old face expresses the karma of that who wears it ... and if it was a good karma, than it is beautiful.
For a spiritually oriented soul, the transition through old age leads closer to the supreme moment of death, when the soul finally arrives home.
For a worldly oriented soul, old age represents the approach of the inevitable self distruction, the end of all joys of the senses. What for the first is joy, and fulfillment of a life of spiritual longing, for the latter it is the most terrifying experience.
But there is no escape from this experience for neither. Only that the spiritually oriented soul realizes this, meets death on a spiritual level, sooner. Than, from this expereince grows the desire to find eternity instead of the ever changing things of this world.
The soul living unconsciously in this world, and totally lost in it's external, sensual aspects, is already dead, but it doesn't realize this. At the moment of death, this realization happens suddenly, and the passing to the spiritual world is dominated by this feeling of terror.
The spiritual soul is dead too, in this world, but that soul realizes this. A sufi once was asked what gift he recieved from the divine grace, and the answer was, every morning when he woke up, he was fully aware that he might not live to see the sunset. The spiritual soul is conscious of the ever changing nature of this world. Such a soul cannot be unconsciously lost any longer in any external, or sensual activity. It does not mean, that such a soul cannot enjoy life anymore ... but sensual pleasure cannot rule his soul life anymore. The soul knows, that these are passing. Gives praise for any such gift, but is not expecting them, demanding them, or struggling to get them. From such a disposition, generosity, tolerance, equanimity flow naturally and without effort.
There is no initiation, self realization, enlightment, only passing through the gate of death.
The wise man does this when he's able and on his terms, bringing the gifts of his righteous life on the altar of death, the fool tries to postpone the inevitable, until it is too late, and arrives unprepared, with many debts.
The former, depending on his merits, might never be born as a man, the latter is soon reborn to pay his many debts.
Face the fear of death, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, and eventually, you will find the strenght ot overcome not just the fear, but death itself.