One needn't be either female nor white to be traumatized by India. Surya Deva, an Indian man, is currently in India looking for a guru and here is what HE has to say about it:
We are now staying with my other aunty and their side of the family, who have also been wronged by my corrupt uncle and aunty. There is a saying they keep saying, "Now days even blood has become white" meaning to say we cannot even trust our own family members today. This is probably more true for India than elsewhere, as I've never had to face something on this level elsewhere: India is rotten corrupt to the core. No matter where you go, you have to watch your back, because everybody here tells lies as a way of life and have an awful 'anything goes' mentality - littering and urinating anywhere on the streets, lying, pushing and shoving in in queues, gossiping, criticising, racism, sexism, fatism. I can easily see Indian people are some of the worst I have encountered. This is a sad fact that has to be admitted. If we do not admit it, there is no possibility for change happening.
I am Indian myself, albeit British Indian, so if I condemn all Indian people I also condemn myself. Of course there are good Indians and I have met them. However, if you come to Delhi and see how the masses are you will agree with my comments. I think part of the reason for this is the awful scorching heat. It is really hard to smile when you are being scorched by 40+ degrees(celcius) heats. Everybody here has a survival mentaliy, they have thrown away manners to the wind, and fend only for themselves. For example, we were queuing up at the Metro station in Delhi and were only a few inches away from the ticket window, and all of a sudden out of nowhere three men appear in front of us and ask for tickets at the counter. It was so blatant, I had to say something, 'Excuse me, we were here before you' they claimed 'Sorry, we did not think you were in the queue'
Another incident happened on the train in the evening, the train was incredibly overcrowded and we wanted to get off at the next station, we got up from our seats about 4 min before the station arrived to go to the door. When we got there a swarm of people boarded the train and deliberately pushed against us getting off, I protested, 'Please let us get off' but they didn't give a damn, they pushed us back in.
Yesterday, in the hypermarket in the mall, we went to the checkout with our stuff and it was being processed, and then all of a sudden a man appeared with one item and jumped in. I again said, 'Excuse me, you cannot do that. You may only have one item, but you are suppose to wait until we are finished' The cashier ratified what I said.
Nobody cares about rules and regulations here. It is total chaos. On the roads, in the streets and in the minds of people here. I see an incident happen everyday here. I am not saying I have not seen similar things in the UK, I have, but not at such a mass level. Here it is rule, not an exception. My cousin said to me when I asked, 'Where is the bin', 'This is India, everywhere is a bin'
None of the values that characterize Yoga/Hinduism are to be found in the masses. In fact it is quite the opposite. India is a highly backwards country when it comes to civility, manners, living standards. On the other hand, if you are fortunate enough to be in the top 20% you can live a very comfortable life: shop in the top stores in the malls and supermarkets, have your own driver and car, go to state of art salons and gyms and live in the best areas with the best infrastructure(the infrastructure gets progressively better the closer to the city centre you are) I see people like this everyday here. They are more civilised - but incredibly materialistic and have a pretty snobbish attitude.
I have to say it, though I alluded to it earlier, Indian people are easily the most uncivilised I have met. I have not seen such low levels of human behaviour elsewhere, even in the 'Chav' areas of the UK
My trip is currently rather disappointing. You are already aware of what has happened so far, I will update you further. I have just returned from Hardiwar and Rishikesh, hoping to find spirituality there. I found quite the opposite on the whole. Hardiwar was dreadful. Haridwar is suppose to be one of the most sacred sites of Hinduism, like Jerusalem/Mecca/Vatican, but it is most profane. The people there are obnoxious and rude, and treat you and process you like human cattle. They talk to you like you are worth nothing. I ended up fighting with the staff at one of the eat-outs. I ordered a beverage four times and repeatedly my order was ignored. I took up the issue with the staff, and they mocked me. I had enough and went to the boss, explaining to him how rude his staff was. He said he apologised on their behalf but started fighting with me when I told him there was no way I was going to continue eating there. I had enough and walked out. Earlier, we faced a similar issue
at another eat-out(but not this bad) where the staff were talking to us like we were criminals.
Then we decided to go to Mansa goddess temple and accidentally ended up going the long way up where you climb up hundreds of stairs up a mountain, which is an arduous undertaking and is suppose to be devotional. Unfortunately, this is spoiled by the dozens of shops/stalls and people trying to deceive you in the name of religion on the way. When you get to the temple it is even worse, there are shops/markets and each shrine has some priest asking you for money. On the way down there is a cable car, but the queue for it was so long and crazy, with people pushing/shoving like savages, we decided to take the hard way down by taking the stairs. Hardiwar was in short a horrible experience - I would not recommend it to anyone.
Unfortunately, this trip also ended up showing our families true colours. We had already been wronged by my grandmother, uncle and aunty which caused us to stay with my other aunty and her family. Now it was their turn. They very shamlessly expected us to pay for all their costs. We were already paying for travelling, leisure and accomodation costs, but they expected us to also pay for 7 days of food costs(breakfast, lunch and dinner) for 11 people and on top of that they had expensive tastes. At first we were paying for the costs out of good will, and then when we were running short on cash, we asked them to pay for one of the meals, specifying we will pay for the next one. Their face went sullen and later they started to fight with us and emotionally blackmail us, telling us they are poor and cannot afford such expensive trips. We knew they were lying, because we saw them spend money on their selves on shopping and purchasing food and drink. We caught them out on several occasions.
They were a horrid lot to go on a trip with, because they never worked together with us. They would make their own plans, gossip amongst each other and then set off without letting us know what was going on. I tried to reason with them and explain that I cannot be dictated to on what we are doing, we are here as a family and therefore we will make decisions democratically - rather than one person deciding everything and telling everybody else what to do. It did little, they continued to do what they wanted. I decided that it is better we just do things separately. They did not like that, because then they would have to pay for themselves. So they shamlessly asked for money from us for their food costs. One day my mother fell very ill and she had to be taken to a hospital - and all they were concerned about was their food. Ironically, a nearby ashram about 5 min walk from our hotel in Rishikesh was serving free food, and we suggested they go there. They retorted, 'No, we don't like their food' When we returned from 7 hours of trips to doctors and hospitals, they all pretended they had not eaten the whole day and tried to guilt trip us and then forced us to take them to an eat out. Later, we learned from my cousin that they were lying and they did indeed go to get the food, but lied so they could get more food from us.
I have never witnessed such awful behaviour anywhere else, except in Indian people. I know that not all Indian people are this awful, but based on my experience here I have to say it is incredibly common. There is something happening everyday here. Everything goes - is what I am hearing constantly from everybody here. My cousin litters on the street, she laughs and says 'This is India' My cousin's kid is feeling sick at the Metro station in Delhi, so he positions him over the tracks to vomit, and then says 'This is India' I experience more terrible pushing and shoving bordering on animalistic on the metro train, somebody says, 'This is India' This is used for everything that in in the civilised world we frown on - teasing girls on the street, lying, deception, corruption, theft, fraud. On the other hand, people speaking up against these issues are mocked and scoffed at. So is this the India Indian people want? A corrupt, savage, uncivilised India? If so, then this country would be lucky to survive another decade.
To be honest I am very skeptical now of anything Indian, after all the experiences I have had. There is one rule I have pretty much adopted, never expect anything to go right in India. Yesterday, I went to the bank to open a foreign bank account. The accountant gave me an application form, which I needed some clarification on because it was pretty confusing. But she had
problems understanding my English, so she referred me to the manager. When I got to the managers room I saw that he was idly chatting away with a friend drinking tea. I simply said to him, 'Sir, I need some help understanding this application form' The man did not even make eye contact with me, he very dismissively said to me, 'You need to go the accountant that deals with foreign accounts' I explained I just had, but the accountant referred me to him. Again, rather dismissively, barely hearing what I am saying, he tells me to go back to her. He gives her a call to ask what the problem is, and she says, 'He wanted to open an account, but do not have supporting documents'' Obviously she misunderstood what I was asking of her, all I wanted was some help on the application form. I explained to him she misunderstood what I was asking of her, but the man is in his own world dismissing everything I am saying. In the country where I am from this behaviour is reprimanded. You are suppose to help your customers and listen to what they are saying, not dismiss them. However, here in India it is common. I have encountered it everywhere with doctors, airport staff and other officials.
In Yogic terms the best way to explain the Indian mindset is tamasic. Lethargic, dull and heavy. What would be a simple straight forward affair in my country, in this country is made complicated, slow and taxing. This is because of the very careless and ignorant attitude Indian people have.
Here is a free tip for anybody travelling to India: Whatever you do, no matter how simple, even if it is taking a cab ride, research and prepare as much as you can beforehand, because what can go wrong - will!
There is no connection between Vedanta/Hinduism/Yoga and modern India. There is absolutely no justification for the behaviour of Indian people today. It is simply put uncivilised - unnecessarily so. Most of it can be explained by the fact that India is a developing country, and this is even literally true because everywhere you look constuction work is going on. But a lot of it I feel is psychological - the modern Indian mentality is very corrupt. They have adopted an anything goes mentality and they actually enjoy it. Everyone here is telling me with a big grin on their face, 'This is India, anything goes here' The people here lack a civic sense or care for society as a whole, there is a total lack of unity. Everybody is fighting with each other. They seem to enjoy chaos and revel in it. I should not be telling you this, but yesterday my aunty beat her daughter in law right in front of me, she went for her like some kind of animal and kept on hitting her. She was upset that daughter in law was arguing with her and not being obedient. She was talking about throwing her out. Yikes, this is the kind of behaviour I am seeing everyday here. There is no other word for it: this is uncivilised. Indian people largely are uncivilised.
The lack of unity, justice, compassion and order I have seen in this country is a sign of a dying country. I would be surprised if this country lasts even a decade the way the people are currently. But I must say I have learned many lessons here, the rudeness, selfishness of the people has taught me the importance of individuality. How I should not give a damn what other people think and think about myself first. This has always been an issue with me, I have always paid a lot of attention to others and been self-conscious about how I come across - but with people like this you cannot give a damn what they think.
Psssst: This is not my emanation My mother is also feeling the same. We are talking about going back to civilised UK
If your parents or grandparents migrated out of India so that you could have a better life - go kiss their feet right now and thank them!