Thank you very much Pandara and Pawel for your feedback to my questions. You have given me much to think about.
[QUOTE=Pawel;37177]Omamana,
Could you answer to those questions you asked in opening post? I expect that if you go through squabble it may be confusing but also it may be helpful. Since its a squabble, it may mean that there are opposing beliefs in you which are in conflict. So maybe you would have to “interview” both sides individually (how each belief in you would reply to those questions).
I lost firm “grasp” on God several years ago and I’m still disheartened by attempts to define God and argue about proper description. I guess now for me God is sort of presence. Intelligent and loving presence.
I pray to God. After my crisis of faith I stopped for some time, but at some point I started to pray again. Mainly because I didn’t want to be spiritually cold (treating God/Spirit as sort of impersonal energy field that one day I will be able to control). In fact this realization scared me a bit back then. After some thinking I concluded that I shouldn’t drop personal relation to higher levels of existence/universe. Treating God as sort of energy is in fact regression to a very low level. And personal aspect of God is a little step closer to the truth and a gift I shouldn’t reject. So after that I started to pray again (using words and also contemplative prayer).[/QUOTE]
To answer my own questions, honestly:
-Do I pray to God: Yes, but not so much anymore, unfortunate
-Do I believe my destiny is in God’s hands: Yes. Does this mean to follow your intuition/ gut as this is God’s way to lead you to your destiny? If so, I am only now starting to trust this
-Do I ask for forgiveness: Yes, but I hate doing it, because guilt is such a horrible symptom of dogmatic religions
-Do I thank God: Yes, almost every day, so much to be grateful for!
-Where do I find God: In my heart, not in my head
I guess I’m more loosing grip with ‘Christianity’ than I am with God. But, I did not want to get involved in another religious debate because they just upset and confuse me even more. So I thought I would start with God and see what comes up, because from what I can see God and yoga are the only things most of us have in common, and I would like to discuss this from a happy place, where we feel a togetherness.
I could really relate to your experience, thank you.