Hi,
No, i think you’ve explained your situaion really well.Big heavy-ish problems often need big solutions.And things can get really bad, like a living nightmare like you suggest.Like the only way out is killing yourself. Ironically this can be a good thing as we tend to put what matters into better perspective.
I think it’s a mistake to compare yourself with other people, younger,having more fun, more women sex enjoyment although i understand where you’re coming from.
You are a ripe candidate for yoga practice for yoga practice. It is when the gooing gets tough, when life get’s really hard then we can be forced to draw on resources we may have previously never imagined we might have.There was something someelse said to me here Hubert when i thought i could possibly end up in jail- seriously ,prob. not that bad but i’d rather not thankyou.Also if you’re not feeling great it’s not necessarily a barrel of laughs,not necessarily somewhere you want to end up…
The adivce i got which was good , & true, was ’ God will only give you as much as you can handle’. I thanked pandara but did’nt really thank Hubert although he’s acknowledged now. Help is out there but it has to start at home.What does that mean? That means well you start off with the baby steps.You climb the mountain by praciticing putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually it get’s easier because you learn to do it unconsciously ,out of habit.
I know what it is like to be weary of feeling weary of life.I don’t know the full extent of your pain but from a yoga perspective i would encourage you to take a yoga class if such a thing exists in Algeria(muslim country?) or find a meditation/yoga techer that teaches effective methods and can be of help and offer guidance and what can be a very troubling situation. I know how bad things can get.When topping yourself seems like the only sensible option. The first step is to change your perspective and do things that are always hellping yourself, in that idrection, one step at a time. Things should change and get better over time.
Also sometimes when we fail we get put down which does’nt help again & again like yousaid. In that case you need to beleive in yourself more. It does’nt matter what others say do & think- that is their business.I think yo get that though just thought i would mention it. But i can relate to some of what you’re talking about. Maybe not all of it as i’m not you and all our experiences of life can be so wildly different. We all share similar struggles but they may play out in quite different ways, have different trajectories, follow different paths. Part of the magic of life is sometimes not knowing wherere or when one path ends and another begins.Keep an open mind and as i say try your hand out with the yoga practices and see how you get on. But stick with it.Attend a class to begin with seems like a good viable option.